I sat on my ass... all day

I heard the ladies today discussing their weekend activities. Stacey, of course, comes up with the best story. First, her son got dehydrated because he didn't drink enough water. Her son is between 5-10 years of age. Who is ultimately responsible for his health?

It's of no matter, because the real meat of the story comes when Stacey gets to her Sunday activities. Her quote is verbatim this: "I sat on my ass. All day. I did nothing."

Of course you did.

Live Blogging 8/8/12

I am at a birthday event for a coworker. Stacey is here. She ordered a huge pasta dish. Didn't finish, which surprises me how she only had half a loaf of garlic bread. However, she ordered cannoli for dessert so "I wouldn't feel left out." One other person got dessert.

Par for the course, even when our breakroom hits the road.

Priceless cupcake moment

In the wake of the previously mentioned office birthday event, there were a multitude of cupcakes remaining in the break room. The following day, I happened to be cruising through the break room around lunchtime, looking for opportunities as usual. I noticed Stacey was eating a cupcake, surely after a mega-lunch that would bust the gut of ordinary men. I announced, "My, there is a lot of sugar in this room." Stacey, while shoving a cupcake in her already full mouth, gets out, "I KNOW!!"

But wait! There's more!

Directly following Stacey's remark, a large man in our office who I will call Frank, started to head out of the room with a cupcake on his plate. Now, let me take you aside to describe Frank's eating habits. He makes claims about eating "just a protein shake" or "just a granola bar" for lunch. This is all true. What isn't mentioned is the Burger King breakfast and numerous desk snacks that Frank eats. Anyhow, as Frank heads out after my comment he says, "yeah..." in a very guilty tone. Fun Fact: You don't have to take the cupcakes.

Doritos Taco Bell Excitement

My apologies for my absence, dear readers. I will try to make it up to you as much as possible before I have to leave town for work for a month or so.

Here is a wonderful story from a recent company event:

The office workers were gathered in the office lobby for a birthday celebration replete with cupcakes and other unhealthy treats. It was delightful.
A coworker had recently purchased a Taco Bell Doritos taco, and I was imploring to the mix of Nacho Cheesier with Taco Bell filling. He felt it was acceptable but nothing amazing.

Our favorite office ladies chimed in on this conversation, saying that combination sounded "gross", "disgusting", and "weird." I took opportunity to share some news I had recently read.

I said, "Well, I did hear they were going to make the same taco but with Cooler Ranch flavored Dorito shells." One would think I had announced a gold rush. The reaction was astounding, "Wow, when is that coming out?", "We should get some!", "That sounds awesome!" Throw in ranch and suddenly the product is a winner.

I plan on buying Cooler Ranch tacos to put in the break room as soon as they are available.