I'm back!

First of all, my apologies for being so absent on this blog. I've been working out of town for several months and this is my first week back in the office. I don't know how long I have to deal with this, but I'll try to enjoy every minute of it.

Haven't really heard any good breakroom chat, but I have a small tidbit to start the day:

One of my more overweight male colleagues, who you know as Frank, claims to be "cutting back." I haven't noticed yet. This aside, this morning he has been doubled over and complaining of bad cramps which started last evening. He believes the cause to be dehydration, but I believe otherwise. If he is, in fact, consuming water to combat his dehydration, the pain could simply be his body rejecting the pure water as it is accustomed to water that has been forced through coffee grounds about five or six times a day. Switching cold turkey to regular ice water could very much be a shock to his system.  

I sat on my ass... all day

I heard the ladies today discussing their weekend activities. Stacey, of course, comes up with the best story. First, her son got dehydrated because he didn't drink enough water. Her son is between 5-10 years of age. Who is ultimately responsible for his health?

It's of no matter, because the real meat of the story comes when Stacey gets to her Sunday activities. Her quote is verbatim this: "I sat on my ass. All day. I did nothing."

Of course you did.

Live Blogging 8/8/12

I am at a birthday event for a coworker. Stacey is here. She ordered a huge pasta dish. Didn't finish, which surprises me how she only had half a loaf of garlic bread. However, she ordered cannoli for dessert so "I wouldn't feel left out." One other person got dessert.

Par for the course, even when our breakroom hits the road.

Priceless cupcake moment

In the wake of the previously mentioned office birthday event, there were a multitude of cupcakes remaining in the break room. The following day, I happened to be cruising through the break room around lunchtime, looking for opportunities as usual. I noticed Stacey was eating a cupcake, surely after a mega-lunch that would bust the gut of ordinary men. I announced, "My, there is a lot of sugar in this room." Stacey, while shoving a cupcake in her already full mouth, gets out, "I KNOW!!"

But wait! There's more!

Directly following Stacey's remark, a large man in our office who I will call Frank, started to head out of the room with a cupcake on his plate. Now, let me take you aside to describe Frank's eating habits. He makes claims about eating "just a protein shake" or "just a granola bar" for lunch. This is all true. What isn't mentioned is the Burger King breakfast and numerous desk snacks that Frank eats. Anyhow, as Frank heads out after my comment he says, "yeah..." in a very guilty tone. Fun Fact: You don't have to take the cupcakes.

Doritos Taco Bell Excitement

My apologies for my absence, dear readers. I will try to make it up to you as much as possible before I have to leave town for work for a month or so.

Here is a wonderful story from a recent company event:

The office workers were gathered in the office lobby for a birthday celebration replete with cupcakes and other unhealthy treats. It was delightful.
A coworker had recently purchased a Taco Bell Doritos taco, and I was imploring to the mix of Nacho Cheesier with Taco Bell filling. He felt it was acceptable but nothing amazing.

Our favorite office ladies chimed in on this conversation, saying that combination sounded "gross", "disgusting", and "weird." I took opportunity to share some news I had recently read.

I said, "Well, I did hear they were going to make the same taco but with Cooler Ranch flavored Dorito shells." One would think I had announced a gold rush. The reaction was astounding, "Wow, when is that coming out?", "We should get some!", "That sounds awesome!" Throw in ranch and suddenly the product is a winner.

I plan on buying Cooler Ranch tacos to put in the break room as soon as they are available.

Fun Roomate Wanted

This is a story about myself for once, but it involves a social experiment nonetheless. After my last roomate moved out, I have decided it is once again time to list my spare bedroom for rent. I posted the following ad on Craigslist.org:

$450 / 300ft² - Fun Roommate Wanted in Chesapeake (Chesapeake)

Looking for a roomate to occupy my first floor bedroom. Room is roughly 15x18 and includes a closet and private bathroom. Utilities included.

I am a 23 year old professional looking for someone who is also employed full-time and doesn't mind guests and who does more than just work and sleep. I am active during most of the week but enjoy relaxing on weekends and some weekday evenings when possible and would enjoy a roomate who shares the same schedule.
I occasionally have friends over and welcome your guests as well. I have a living room with TV, eat-in kitchen, and back deck as common area. Verizon FIOS included in rent. Washer and dryer available as well.
Must be employed and financially responsible. Cash preferred.


Send me an email with questions and interest.

Please note that I did not specify my gender in the ad. I did this intentionally, partially as an experiment and also to ensure that the respondants valued my qualities and expectations as a roomate primarily. I have no gender preference and see no need to provide that information at the outset.

I was surprised at the responses, here is the tally of responses by gender so far:
Male: 6 (one was homosexual)
Female: 13
Unknown: 1 *I did not respond and the name was not enough to give me an idea on gender.

Now, the question is, what is it that makes women more inclined to respond? Are they more prolific Craigslist users? Perhaps they appreciate my proper grammer and clear definitions of the ad? What is it about this ad that is more attractive to them?

Cookie Experiment Day 1 Results

Today I went to lunch with my brother, so prior to leaving I dropped a baker's dozen of home-made chocolate chip cookies on the kitchen table where the ladies were eating and said, "I brought dessert!" Responses were all positive, with a very clear "WOW!!" being voiced as I was leaving. I returned from lunch to find a single cookie remaining the in the container. I would call this mission a success. I will repeat this test with some other sweet later this week. Hopefully my informant will be here that day and can bear witness to consumption habits.

Looks like the 500 calorie/day diet is a thing of the past.